“FRENCH FROGMEN GET LIFE GLASTONBURY BAN”

Jacques Cousteau (SOME FRENCH MAN STICK TO THE SEA)

After spending the 90s on the two main stages . Mean Fiddler took over the main stages so I moved to pastures new . In the form of the Markets the front line Babylon and all that , it was just what the doctor ordered . We got the meet and greet job at the bottom of muddy lane . Dealing with everyone not just markets . The job was to focus on people going to were they were supposed to go, as quickly as possible . Radio through so they were expected . So the party could get going as quick as possible. Before this was done people arrived roaming the site ether on a jolly or totally lost . The site would get snagged up in no time with traders de-livery’s artists staff lost all over the site . So with a team of 8 are aim was get every one to their Festival home ASAP . So when the party kicked off on time it was job done but it was 16-17 hour days .

You where working with everyone people made a bee line for you for what ever . There was many bizarre situations medical problems people freaking out over one thing or another . But in that first year was one of the strangest . For those who know Glastonbury festival site the bottom of muddy lane there is a large long drop toilet block . Long drops are huge pits with a iron frame over with a dozen separate toilet cubical s on either side . You do your business and it falls into the pit below a tanker comes 3 times a day to empty it . For me the long drops are the best toilets on site .

LONG DROPS (muddy lane)

While we were doing the meet and greet it was so busy they had just opened the gates for the people . A girl approached me panicking “I THINK SOME ONE HAS FELL INTO THE TOILET PIT”

I knew that was impossible, unless some one had smashed the plywood and he or she was thrown down. I was talking to one of the market managers at the time we dashed over she showed us the cubical she had been in .

Sure to her word in the corner waste deep in umshka (With Nail and I) . Was a wet suit clad male with video camera , We were not amused , What s more he sensed that . We cleared the toilets of the half a dozen people using them at the time . Security was called it took half hour to persuade him to let us pull him out . Not helping was the fact he was French and that a Scouser and a Cockney were leading the negotiation. He was finally dragged out dropping his camera down back into the pit it slowly sank never to be seen again . He was led away by security who were in disbelief . I never learned his fate . But the job of toilet Monitors was created , to put everyone at ease.

I would not mind U-tube did not exist then so what his bag was I can only guess. But from then on anyone in a frogman suit was viewed with suspicion . The fact that he was French did not surprise me having worked with the outfit Archos on the Pyramid stage a few years earlier. The stuff they would get up to .....

But hey that s an other story.........

More Glasto stories on the way soon     

"Toilet Humour with John Peel"

Festival season is fast approaching with no Glastonbury more memory’s of previous years flood back . Plucking out one of my many memory's I cast my mind back to 1993 . Crewing the then N.M.E stage it was a scorcher weather wise . The guy responsible for sorting out the water and sanitation on site had unfortunately died in Australia only weeks earlier . He had done this unglamorous job for years . So some one new was thrown into the breach . Not knowing all the unique tricks of the job . The water was late coming on with it being so hot it was under great demand.

The first water to come through the pipes had not been flushed through properly . I remember well jumping off my push bike on the way back to the stage . Rushing to a stand pipe in the hedge and taking my fill of water it was so hot . With it being so early there was hardly no bottle water on site .Many people who were working in that heat filled water bottles . Before the word went around that it had not been flushed through properly . One by one people started to fall ill including myself all the crew went down with the bug . Then it went air born with the lighting crew going down . Followed by the P. A crew, it was all hands to the toilets . It was the worst shits I have ever had feeling generally unwell with severe gut aches. Before the people where let in the water was flushed through properly . But for the people putting the show on it made hard work a lot harder .

John Peel was always there early setting up for his D.J sets on the the 2 main stages . He also went down with the shits . The toilets were getting a hammering , it was put a band on shit, put a band on shit, After nearly shitting my self twice . I locked the porta loo from the outside with screw driver hiding it outside under a piece of wood . That way I would have access to a toilet all the time . Coming out of the Toilet John was waiting about to drop at any second . I obviously was a huge fan of John having no hesitation showing him the screwdriver stash . He nodded his approval , So we shared the porta loo through out the festival taking turns , with nods across the stage .

It was a great ice breaker and it was not long before we started talking footie , more to the point Liverpool F.C . His knowledge of L.F.C was immense.

John's passion for Liverpool F.C was reflected in his childrens names,William Roberta Anfield,Alexandra Mary Anfield ,Thomas James Dalglish,and Florence Victoria Shankley.  After that John would take time out to talk to me at other events. Such as BBC Sound Citys in Liverpool, Bristol and Sheffield .

I would always get a buzz from talking to John he would always plug the bands I was working with at the time . The likes of The EFF WORD a trip hop cross over band from Bristol . I remember him getting on his high horse to me about the way players shield the ball to let it run out of play . He hated it saying . “the day Liverpool did that it would be a sad day . Well we do and when we do I instantly think of John and what he would of thought of the present Liverpool team.

John would have been in his 70s now his memory will never die. The John Peel stage at Glastonbury is a fitting legacy . He would of loved that, it gives me the biggest buzz at the festival these days and I am glad to say my kids as well.

JOHN PEEL 1939-2004 YNWA

More Glastonbury stories coming soon (the amazing tale of why Glastonbury banned French Frogmen)   

THE 5 SAD TRUTHS

Poor finishing

Liverpool have had a serious problem with scoring goals throughout their league season. With a paltry return of 36 goals from 30 games, that’s seven goals less than Steve Kean’s much maligned Blackburn Rovers. The Reds have struggled to kill teams off despite dominating the majority of the play. Despite frequently racking up large numbers of corners, only two goals have been scored from set pieces in the Premier League all season. Liverpool have also hit the woodwork more than any other team which could be perceived as bad luck but when it’s been going on for so long it has to be seen as abject finishing.

Failed Transfers

It is perhaps the most talked about point of the season. Despite spending lavishly in the summer, Liverpool’s transfers under Dalglish have almost all been failures.  Andy Carroll and Jordan Henderson’s pricetags are weighing heavily on them; they’ve made the two young North Easterner’s challenge to make it at Anfield that much harder. With every misplaced pass or scuffed shot their respective transfer fees are brought into question. Stewart Downing is another who has disappointed by failing to contribute a single league goal. Charlie Adam has tailed off dramatically after a promising start with his delivery from set pieces becoming increasingly worse leaving Dalglish’s master plan in tatters. In brutal honesty only Jose Enrique and Luis Suarez have been clear successes. Although there is still time for the likes of Henderson and Downing to change people’s perceptions the clock is ticking and another overhaul in the summer looks increasingly likely. Liverpool fans simply have to pray that the Anfield hierarchy spend their money more wisely come the summer.

Anfield Struggles

Although Liverpool have been unbeaten at home for most of the season a number of draws has haunted them all season leaving them with only five wins from their fifteen home games. With Arsenal and Wigan taking all three points from Anfield in March Liverpool’s home form has gone from poor to disastrous. An inability to hold onto leads is something not exclusively seen at Anfield (as QPR fans will joyfully be able to testify to) but has seen the Red’s squander points against some of the worst teams in the league. This is not something new as disappointing home draws against inferior teams cost Liverpool any chance of securing the title under Rafael Benitez in the 2008/09 season. However it has to change if Dalglish’s team are to stand any chance of reaching the top four next season.

Severely Lacking Lucas

The industrious Brazilian has been sorely missed since he was ruled out for most of the reason with a cruciate ligament injury. Although he was often criticised when he first joined the club, Lucas has become a key part of a Liverpool midfield which has lost world class performers Xabi Alonso and Javier Mascherano in recent years. Charlie Adam’s loss in form can certainly be linked to Lucas’ absence. Although Jay Spearing has enjoyed an extended spell in the first team, the reality is the tenacious academy product is not of the same quality. Steven Gerrard’s continued fight against injury has been a big blow but it is Lucas’ extended spell on the side-lines which has been more keenly felt on Merseyside.

The Luis Suarez Affair

Unquestionably Luis Suarez is a brilliant player but his antics on the pitch have not endeared him to the rest of the Premier League. His theatrics under the slightest of challenges have enraged many a defender but none of this matched the furore following his racist abuse of Patrice Evra. In the immediate aftermath of the incident Liverpool backed their man with a staunch defence against the then allegations. Even after Suarez was found guilty the Uruguayan was backed unanimously with the now infamous Suarez t-shirts at the DW Stadium. Liverpool’s form dipped as negative publicity swamped the club. The team missed a spark without Suarez as he completed his eight game ban, however the forward soon managed to ignite the whole of Old Trafford with his handshake snub to Evra. Yet again derision reigned upon the club when the incident should have been put in the past. Suarez was rightfully condemned for the debacle and now that he has hopefully learnt his lesson he can focus on improving his goal tally of seven league goals which for a man of his abilities isn’t really enough.

With the first trophy in six years already secured Liverpool can still turn this season into a very good one if they can triumph in the FA Cup. There have been promising signs in the cups but the league form has been similar to what it was under Roy Hodgson in what was a much more tumultuous time for the club. Dalglish has to learn from this season otherwise his fairytale return to Anfield may be a lot shorter than he planned.

Why we need to sign Luuk De Jong

FC Twente hot-shot Luuk de Jong has been attracting interest from all over Europe but it is increasingly becoming apparent that Liverpool are in the driving seat for his signature this summer. Director of Football Damien Comolli has undertaken several scouting missions to De Grolsch Veste to personally oversee the 21 year old’s development and the player’s agent Marco de Marchi recently admitted that the Reds were extremely keen.

He also added however, “Several English and German teams follow him” and with that in mind Liverpool would be wise to prepare their bid and swoop at the earliest opportunity. Here’s why….

He’s the poacher Liverpool so desperately need

A lot has been made of Liverpool’s wastefulness in front of goal this season and rightfully so; the stats are staggering and can be broken down into all sorts of eyebrow-raising figures but ultimately it comes down to this – they have only scored five more than bottom-placed Wolves. What particularly frustrates the Anfield faithful is how water-tight their defence has been because if things were how they (arguably) should be up front Liverpool would be challenging for third spot at present instead of chasing Newcastle for sixth.

Suarez has been wonderful to watch at times but with very little end product whilst Carroll’s trio of strikes is an abysmal return considering his fee and capabilities. The 21 times the Reds have hit the woodwork does suggest at rotten misfortune rather than profligacy but there can be no doubt that Liverpool are in dire need of a hungry, lean poacher who thrives on chances. With a one-in-two strike rate in the Dutch top flight De Jong has all the makings of being that man.

He would be a round hole in a round peg

On far too many occasions this season Liverpool’s slick momentum has come to a grinding halt at the size 13s of Andy Carroll. With a clunky touch and pedestrian intent he has evidently been a square peg in a round hole. In short, Dalglish paid top dollar for a beast and got a burden.

De Jong may not carry the same imposing physical threat as the Geordie lummox but at 6ft 2 the Swiss-born Dutchman is more than capable in the air whilst his slender frame is deceptively durable in the challenge. Furthermore his movement is intelligent and nuanced and you feel, should he and Suarez tune into the same wavelengths, the duo could spark up a devastating and cunning attack force.

Above and beyond even this however is De Jong’s sure touch – Twente play some delightful stuff and not only does he play the role of the classic number 9 impeccably the youngster is often involved early on in the move linking up play and bringing in others around him.

He is open to the idea

“I’m still very happy playing for Twente, but every player has dreams. Mine is to play in a nice foreign competition one day. And the Premier League is a really nice competition. I don’t have real plans for the future – I’ll see what comes my way.”

So said De Jong at the tail-end of last year and as everyone knows this is footballer code for ‘A big money move? Abso-bloody-lutely! Where do I sign?’

Liverpool can also be encouraged by the fact that Twente is currently bossed by Steve McClaren who is not the type to stand in a player’s way and halt his career trajectory. The wally with the brolly was fully on board with the Edin Dzeko deal that took the Bosnian to City from Wolfsburg and indeed publicly backed the player at every opportunity when he initially struggled to settle on British soil.

Consistency

Rarely does the lad have a poor game and even when his scoring form deserts him De Jong is intelligent enough to recognize this and adjust his game accordingly, dropping deeper than usual or drifting into wide areas and creating space for team-mates. His work-rate is not in doubt and it’s this selfless attitude that should encourage Liverpool supporters most of all – yes he is deadly in and around the box and has talent to spare…but he will also put in a shift and never hide.

Age

At 21 De Jong is primed and ready to parade his talents on the bigger stage. With over 80 league appearances under his belt (and 7 full international caps) he’s made his mistakes and served his apprenticeship. I personally believe that the well-worn axiom that a player reaches his peak around the age of 27 does not apply to out-and-out strikers due to the fearlessness and decisiveness of youth being a huge advantage for the role. Get him now, let him play his natural game and watch the goals rain in from every angle.

He’d be cheaper than you think

A tip-off this week suggested the deal would ultimately climb to £27m but it is hard to countenance such a fee considering that, for all his promise, De Jong remains unproven at the highest level. Considering that Twente were prepared to sell Bryan Ruiz last summer for shy of £11m a more realistic figure of around £15m can safely be estimated. For a player who could potentially be the solution to several woes that amounts to a bargain at today’s prices.

So why didn’t Liverpool make their widely-touted swoop in January? Primarily there are three reasons for this -

Firstly De Jong understandably wants to see out a successful season at Twente who are pushing Ajax and AZ Alkmaar hard for the Eredivisie title.

From Liverpool’s side they were hesitant to commit to a mid-term splurge in the transfer market particularly when it became apparent that Carroll was going nowhere.

Lastly, buying the latest hot-shot from the Dutch league is always a high-risk proposition no matter how searing the goal-scoring stats. For every Van Nistelrooy there is a Kezman and even the player currently keeping De Jong out of the Holland first XI Huntelaar suffered two high-profile mis-steps at Milan and Madrid before rediscovering his shooting boots at Schalke.

Tearing apart the Eredivisie is certainly not a guaranteed barometer of excellence and Comolli and co are wise to take every precaution before making their move.

However such circumspection brings its own risks and should De Jong continue with his blistering form and garner wider interest then Liverpool could well find themselves in a bidding war during the summer. Should he additionally enjoy a successful Euros then his price will undoubtedly soar.

Liverpool v Stoke player comparability

The Stoke game we done what was necessarily against a team like Stoke . They must be a horrible team to play against reminding me of 80s Wimbledon enough said . But other than the F.A cup blip against Wimbledon Liverpool would take such teams in there stride . So are we at last learning from our history with Kenny at the helm . For a bit of fun I am taking the team from Sunday . Compering them to players of old so lets see if I can pair them up .  BUT THEN CAME Q.P.R (read on)

9/10

9/10

Pepe                v               Bruce      

8/10

9/10

Jose            v            Barney








                                                 

7/10

9/10

Martin   v    Chris

9/10

9/10

                                             




Martin       v         Tommy

9/10

10/10

                                           



Jamie    v         Alan

9/10

7/10

                                           


Stewart    v     Steve

     

5/10

10/10










Jay v Xavi

Maxi  v  Cally    

                                                              
                                                                 

7/10

10/10

Stevie v Graham

10/10

9/11

5/10  

10/10

Andy v Rodger

9/10

10/10

Luis v Kenny.

TEAM AGAINST STOKE (85)

STARS FROM THE PAST (104) 

SO WE ARE GETTING THERE

As for the game last night at Q,P,R .The corner count went through the roof again (see)http://styfnorm.blogspot.co.uk/2012/03/yet-other-corner-wasted.html  

I would of sooner get beat 1.0 than go down the way we did . If we would  of played with half the discipline as we did agianst Stoke . We would of walked that game Q.P.R were a poor team . So we take nothing from the game other than a wonder goal by Coates a young star in the making . We have to start learning from are mistakes, but how many times have we said that this season.

At least there not long wait for the next game, Wigan on Saturday . In this frustrating stop start season . I am slowly coming round to the feeling I just want the season to end and start a fresh . Thank god for the cups  . Y.N.W.A 

PAUL AND THE GANG

ALL GOOD REDS AS WELL

LIVERPOOL 7TH IT COULD BE WORSE

After a great night at Anfield and retaining 7th place . Yes I know 7th place is not what all reds would want . But things could be a lot worse . Lets take the plight of Al-Wathba top team in the city of Homs one of the oldest  Asian football clubs . They where founded in1938 and where flying high in the Syrian League ( see below ) up until December when the  league was suspended . Due to the uprising . I can just not imagine what it is like to have your league thrown into such turmoil by such terrible events . What is the fate of the supporters also the players . It is a reality check on what it must of been like in this country in the the 2 World Wars . But this is a civil war a lot more nasty .   Al-Wathba  being a team from Homs one of the main areas of opposition to the ASSAD regime . Also top of the League with his loyalty's lying with one of the Damascus teams he could of being killing 2 birds with 1 stone . Surely not but it could of tipped the balance on a brutal clamp down on Homs other than ,another city . Who knows what goes on in the mind of a tyrant . Lets hope that the situation improves and Al-Wathba go on to win the league a little bit of cheer for the people of Homs . YNWA

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2010%E2%80%9311_Syrian_Premier_League

Pos	Team	Pld	W	D	L	GF	GA	GD	Pts	Qualification or relegation
1	Al-Wathba	6	4	1	1	6	3	+3	13	#Advance to Championship pool
2	Al-Majd	6	2	4	0	6	3	+3	10
3	Al-Jaish	6	3	1	2	5	4	+1	10
4	Al-Futowa	6	2	3	1	8	7	+1	9	Playoff to Advance to Championship pool
5	Al-Taliya	6	2	3	1	6	5	+1	9
6	Hutteen	6	1	1	4	3	6	−3	4
7	Al-Hurriya	6	0	1	5	3	9	−6	1
8	Omayya	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	Withdrew1

Updated to games played on 21 December 2011

Pos	Team	Pld	W	D	L	GF	GA	GD	Pts	Qualification or relegation
1	Al-Shorta	7	5	1	1	20	7	+13	16	#Advance to Championship pool
2	Al-Karamah	7	4	2	1	8	6	+2	14
3	Al-Wahda	7	3	2	2	8	4	+4	11
4	Baniyas Refinery	7	2	4	1	11	7	+4	10	Playoff to Advance to Championship pool
5	Al-Ittihad	7	3	1	3	8	9	−1	10
6	Al-Jazeera	7	2	3	2	5	6	−1	9
7	Tishreen	7	1	1	5	5	14	−9	4
8	Al-Nawair	7	0	2	5	3	15	−12	2

Updated to games played on 21 December 2011

The seasons league will feature two stages. Stage one will pit two groups of eight teams and kicked off on the 9th October. The top four off each group would advance to the Championship pool to determine the overall league champions. The bottom four placed sides would enter the relegation pool to determine who would be relegated.