“FRENCH FROGMEN GET LIFE GLASTONBURY BAN”

Jacques Cousteau (SOME FRENCH MAN STICK TO THE SEA)

After spending the 90s on the two main stages . Mean Fiddler took over the main stages so I moved to pastures new . In the form of the Markets the front line Babylon and all that , it was just what the doctor ordered . We got the meet and greet job at the bottom of muddy lane . Dealing with everyone not just markets . The job was to focus on people going to were they were supposed to go, as quickly as possible . Radio through so they were expected . So the party could get going as quick as possible. Before this was done people arrived roaming the site ether on a jolly or totally lost . The site would get snagged up in no time with traders de-livery’s artists staff lost all over the site . So with a team of 8 are aim was get every one to their Festival home ASAP . So when the party kicked off on time it was job done but it was 16-17 hour days .

You where working with everyone people made a bee line for you for what ever . There was many bizarre situations medical problems people freaking out over one thing or another . But in that first year was one of the strangest . For those who know Glastonbury festival site the bottom of muddy lane there is a large long drop toilet block . Long drops are huge pits with a iron frame over with a dozen separate toilet cubical s on either side . You do your business and it falls into the pit below a tanker comes 3 times a day to empty it . For me the long drops are the best toilets on site .

LONG DROPS (muddy lane)

While we were doing the meet and greet it was so busy they had just opened the gates for the people . A girl approached me panicking “I THINK SOME ONE HAS FELL INTO THE TOILET PIT”

I knew that was impossible, unless some one had smashed the plywood and he or she was thrown down. I was talking to one of the market managers at the time we dashed over she showed us the cubical she had been in .

Sure to her word in the corner waste deep in umshka (With Nail and I) . Was a wet suit clad male with video camera , We were not amused , What s more he sensed that . We cleared the toilets of the half a dozen people using them at the time . Security was called it took half hour to persuade him to let us pull him out . Not helping was the fact he was French and that a Scouser and a Cockney were leading the negotiation. He was finally dragged out dropping his camera down back into the pit it slowly sank never to be seen again . He was led away by security who were in disbelief . I never learned his fate . But the job of toilet Monitors was created , to put everyone at ease.

I would not mind U-tube did not exist then so what his bag was I can only guess. But from then on anyone in a frogman suit was viewed with suspicion . The fact that he was French did not surprise me having worked with the outfit Archos on the Pyramid stage a few years earlier. The stuff they would get up to .....

But hey that s an other story.........

More Glasto stories on the way soon